How and when you should sugar coat what you say

When it comes to speaking up and expressing emotions, the thought of being completely honest can feel daunting. If you have a hard time saying what you truly mean, you're not alone! Family Therapist Joe Rich shared tips for getting your message across with just the right amount of sugar coating. 

WHY WE CHOOSE TO SUGAR-COAT

Many people find themselves thinking way too long about what they want to say by questioning what the outcome will be. For example, "Will he/she still like me if I send this message?" Viewing confrontation as a bad thing is where the root of the problem starts. While confrontation can be difficult at times, it's necessary. 

THE PROCESS OF SUGAR-COATING AND HOW TO IMPROVE IT

When dealing with a situation that we're unsure of how to handle, sugar coating it sometimes comes naturally. We often decide on a message we want to send and then add in layers of sugar to deliver the message in a way that isn't confrontational. By doing this, we hope that the recipient can pull out the buried message and act accordingly. Rather than adding in many extra layers of fluff, think about the message that you're trying to get across. Whatever amount of sugar you would normally add, cut it in half. 

Self-talk can help you prepare and analyze your message to understand if the message will get across clearly. Tell yourself that confrontation is a healthy aspect of all relationships. When the thought of whether or not you'll be liked after delivering a message crosses your mind, remind yourself to be brave. Taking risks in a relationship is where the magic happens, so keep in mind that your feelings/thoughts deserve to be heard.