A doctor answers all of our common sex questions

Let’s talk about sex, baby! Dr.Sheila Wijayasinghe answers common sex questions sent in by our viewers.
Published February 14, 2020 3:57 p.m. EST
Last Updated February 14, 2020 4:19 p.m. EST
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The information provided on the show is for general information purposes only. If you have a health problem, medical emergency, or a general health question, you should contact a physician or other qualified health care provider for consultation, diagnosis and/or treatment. Under no circumstances should you attempt self-diagnosis or treatment based on anything you have seen on the show.

There's no better day to talk about sex than Valentine's day, but there can still be a lot of misconceptions and unanswered questions surrounding the topic. Luckily for us, Dr. Sheila Wijayasinghe, knows all the answers to our spicy sex Qs.

QUICK QUESTIONS

Does size really matter?

No - size does not seem to influence pleasure and enjoyment, it's what you do with what you have!

Is masturbation healthy?

Absolutely! It is healthy, has been found in some studies to improve memory, focus and general sense of well being and confidence.

Can my partner feel my IUD?

No, the IUD goes into the uterus and the strings are cut to just outside the cervix.  If the strings are too long, there may be a chance that a partner could feel it, so if this is the case, get checked and they can be trimmed them back.

Is there such a thing as too much vaginal discharge during sex?

No! Vaginal lubrication is normal during intercourse during arousal. If it has an odour, blood or associated with pain - might be a sign of infection.

LOW LIBIDO

A woman’s sexual desire fluctuates over the years, making the ‘normal’ libido amount  virtually non-existent as it depends solely on the individual. Highs and lows are commonly associated with major life changes such as pregnancy, menopause, stress or having differing libidos between partners. Desire for sex is based on many complex interactions that affect intimacy, including physical and mental well-being, medications, illnesses, beliefs, current relationships, lifestyle and sexual history/experience.

So, what can you do? Get to the root of this problem by first seeing your doctor. After getting a general idea, you can adjust your medication, talk to someone with expertise in sex, develop healthy sleep patterns, confide in your partner and exercise. If a woman’s low libido is related to pain she should consider lube, and regular sex to in order to promote lubrication. Sufficient self-care is essential to your libido, especially when going through those major life moments like stress; it’s extremely important to take care of yourself.

VAGINAL ODOR

It’s completely normal for a vagina to have some kind of scent as every woman has their own unique ‘bouquet’. There is an industry of pathologizing what is a normal odor as it’s seen in cleansing products, douches and other things that can potential make the odour of your vagina worse. The vagina is home to billions of normal bacteria, producing a smell that is a combination of what we metabolize in our bodies and the usual lactobacilli bacteria in the vagina. Vaginal odor can be caused from infection, unprotected sex as it triggers the shift in flora, and menstruation. If the smell is overpowering or associated with abnormal bleeding, discharge or pain, see your doctor.

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POST BABY BODY

Although the vagina is very resilient, it can take up to 12 weeks to a year for it to fully go back to its pre-birth size. While your vaginal opening typically shrinks after childbirth, having a big baby or several vaginal deliveries makes it less likely for it to go back 100%.  Your vagina may be slightly wider than it was in the past, and although it may not be the same for everyone, some women reported feeling this way when their tampons have slipped out after childbirth.  Women perceive their vagina as loose after their vaginal muscles are weakened post-childbirth, in which Kegels and pelvic floor physio may help strengthen those muscles. For those who’ve had C-sections, they may still experience vaginal changed due to hormones such as relaxing which is elevated during pregnancy to relax muscles and estrogen shifts that can affect the vagina.

PAINFUL SEX

It’s common for women post-birth to experience anxiety and discomfort during sex. After a woman gives birth it’s a time for her to get to know her new body both emotionally and physically which can affect her confidence as she needs time to get accustom to her new self. Breastfeeding, hormonal changes, and vaginal tearing after birth are some of the causes of painful sex. Women shouldn’t suffer in silence and that if this pain is persistent, they should get examined to ensure that things are healing properly and to see if alternative can be offered.

PAIN AFTER SEX

There are multiple reasons why a woman might feel stomach pains following sex. The most common ones include cramps triggered by orgasms, cysts, large fibroids, pressure changes during sex, sensitivity to prostaglandin in semen and endometriosis.

Orgasm

Triggers cramping that are a result of spontaneous contractions of the uterine muscle.

Ovulating

Experts note that if you are ovulating, you may be more likely to feel cramping after sex.

Pressure changes

Activity of sex can put pressure on bladder/ovaries/uterus – and can feel irritated.

Semen

Seminal fluid contains a hormone-like substance called prostaglandin, and some woman are sensitive to it so when released into vagina, can cause cramping.

Anatomy

If your uterus is tilted, the angle and certain positions can trigger discomfort/cramping.

Cysts

Ovarian cysts, if large, can cause pain.

Large fibriods

These can cause pain, especially if near the cervix.

Endometriosis

You may be more susceptible to cramping after sex.To ease the pain switching up positions, emptying bladder before to reduce pressure, using condoms if there’s a reaction to semen and a warm bath post sex may help. If there is pain with urination, discharge or consistent pain interfering with the enjoyment of sex, get it checked immediately.

G-SPOT

The famous myth about the G-spot is false - it does not exist. The G-spot isn’t its own thing or a singular area, it’s in fact at clitoral network. The clitoris is much larger than you think, with deep roots that can give pleasure when stimulated. If the stimulated area doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or flawed - everyone is different.

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